By Sheila Gagon

We all crave validation. That feel-good moment when someone acknowledges our efforts, compliments our work, or simply agrees with our opinion. It’s a basic human need. But why?

Evolutionarily, validation has helped many of us form strong social bonds, ensuring cooperation and survival. Today, that need translates into a desire to feel accepted and valued by our peers.

However, constantly seeking validation from others can be a recipe for disappointment. External validation is fleeting and unreliable. The good news? You have the power to validate yourself.

Here’s how to break free from the validation cycle and build inner strength:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step is recognising your emotions without judgment. Are you feeling insecure? Needing a confidence boost? Name it and accept it.
• Challenge Negative Self-Talk: That inner critic? It’s time to silence it. When negative thoughts creep in, challenge them with evidence of your strengths and accomplishments.

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• Celebrate Your Wins (Big and Small): Did you finally master that dance step? Did you give an amazing presentation? Recognise and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they are.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you offer your friends. Everyone makes mistakes, so forgive yourself and learn from them.
• Focus on Your Values: What matters to you the most? Living in alignment with your values is a powerful form of self-validation.
• Do Not Compare Yourself to Others: Your journey is unique and cannot be compared. Walk in your own footsteps, learn from your challenges and focus on you.
• Reward Yourself: Set goals and reward yourself for reaching them. This positive reinforcement strengthens your sense of accomplishment.

Remember, self-validation is a journey, not a destination. There will be days when you crave external approval. But by developing these practices, you’ll build a strong foundation of inner worth, allowing you to navigate life with confidence and self-acceptance.