- By Ronnie Campbell
Life can be a rocky road full of ups, downs, and unexpected surprises some of them welcome while others are heart breaking. The challenges in life that we face must be viewed as opportunities towards strengthening our personalities and contributing towards increasing our inner resilience. It is only when we face challenges that we can truly test ourselves to see how strong we truly are. But to achieve this understanding and reaching inner triumph it is necessary to nurse the broken heart back to good health. It is possible to achieve this however you need time and self-compassion. Your feeling about the situation is valid do not dismiss them, you could be feeling lonely, disconnected, rejected, disappointed, humiliated or even relieved. Initially it is important to understand the reasons behind the heartbreak then find solutions to nurse your broken heart back to good health.
Why the heartbreak?
Within relationships at the beginning, couples are very happy and feel uplifted due to positive compliments that are given to each other. You may have found yourself thinking about the person you cared about telling you how much you mean to them, which made you feel good. However, as a relationship breaks down you will have a mixture of thoughts that enter your mind ranging from comments made by the person you cared about, the thoughts that you have been creating in your own mind or you tend to be too judgemental of yourself. It is important to remember that the way you think affects your feelings, and your feelings then impact your actions. When you are feeling very low then your actions may not typically reflect your usual behaviour. You may not feel like taking care of yourself or socialising with your friends, leading you to feel lonelier than before. The way that we feel can be dependent on the circumstance and how the heart was broken in the first place. You may feel an array of different emotions if your heart has been broken as you could be experiencing shock leading you to feelings of grief, angry, depressed, anxious while the person who broke the heart may feel sad or guilty.
Tips to nurse a broken heart:
Give yourself time
When you lose someone from your life you enter a process of grieving which takes time to come to terms with. Therefore, give yourself the time you need to heal and do not rush into another relationship with the aim of trying to fill a void. Instead honour your emotions and refrain from judging yourself. Cultivate positive thoughts to help you and reconstruct self-talk, do not invalidate how you are feeling. If you are feeling sadness acknowledge it and tell yourself that it is ok to feel sad and let it go. While you are alone, seek to look within yourself, alternatively find a professional that can help you to identify your emotions particularly if you are the type to suppress emotions. Identify behavioural patterns, seek to understand yourself, care for yourself and be gentle.
Do what makes you happy!
When you are re-connecting with yourself then carry out the activities that brought you happiness and joy in the past. Do the things that make you feel peaceful and provide you with inspiration. Do what you were unable to do previously as your time was spent focusing on other matters. Explore your newly found freedom and meet new people and make new friends even when you don’t feel like doing it. You will feel happier when you know that you have tried.
Create a positive list about yourself
A part of reconnecting with yourself is getting to know what you like about yourself and improve what you dislike. Identify all your good positive qualities and list them, be sure to include not only what you like about yourself but also what other people like about you. In addition, self-affirmations will help you to remain positive when you start to feel the negative emotions flare up.
Observe and Release
When you think about the person that has broken your heart, take a step back and acknowledge what you are thinking. You are no longer in the situation therefore you can observe what has happened as a bystander and let it go. Be careful not to judge what has happened because you are then placing importance on it. This will lead you to the realisation that your expectations were not met and this cause a build-up of negative emotions. Hence, practice to observe and release.
You may find it useful to speak to a family member or a friend about your feelings. If not, you can practice meditation or mindfulness to help you to overcome the feelings that you are experiencing. In addition, you may find creative ways of expressing your emotions including through music, dancing, painting, writing, or exercising.
Have faith that whatever happens is in your best interest and time is a great healer, however you must also do your utmost to remain positive and put your wellbeing first. Remember, you can nurse your broken heart to good health, keep believing and you will accomplish.